Who told you you’re allowed to rain on my parade?

So I guess the Apollo Theater is known for a tough crowd…but JEEZ.
They were booing us before we could even start our acts.
While I was sitting off stage waiting to go on I thought, “is it even worth it?” The only people who didn’t get booed were doing things that were completely different. There was a dancer who did roboty things and a drummer (whose friends were doing all of the booing) and a sax player. There were a couple singers who stayed, but neither of them won and they were both Tops in Blue priors with this amazing stage presence.
It was still fun though.
I’ve been living and breathing this song for over a year now and this was my first opportunity to really PERFORM it. As soon as the music started all of my nerves fell away and I did what I practiced. And I was on fire. It doesn’t matter that I was booed off before I was halfway done (I didn’t even get to “Hey Mr. Arnstein, here I am!”) because I got energy from the crowd and I used it to perform better.
And that’s what I couldn’t do in Texas last year. I was petrified by the audience, not energized by them. I think it helps that I get to move around on this song but even if I was standing still I feel like it would have been the same.
When I got off stage I was immediately surrounded by supporters who tried to drown out the boos. They bought me drinks and told me, “those people just don’t know music! Let those haters hate. They’re just assholes”. So that definitely helped, haha. But I didn’t need it. I wasn’t concerned about the boos because I know I was on point and because I had so. Much. Fun.
I love performing. I love it, love it, LOVE IT. I love getting all dressed up and wearing stage makeup (although my face hates that part and I hate how I look with makeup caked on) and getting up there and existing.
I’m going to make it this year. Hey Mr. Edwards, here I come!

Life’s candy and the sun’s a ball of butter!

I swear I’ll put up singingness soon. It may not be a video. It may just be sound. But you will make do :p

Tonight is “Apollo at the ROK”. I am act 13 and we’re about to start. I’m a bit afraid.

I don’t want to be booed.

More on Japan

My flight leaves in six and a half very short hours. I don’t want to leave but I am oh so ready to be back. For one thing, this damn keyboard. I’m using a keyboard at the hostel I’m staying in and it’s set up just differently enough to be annoying. For example, the apostrophe is with the 7. So you have to hit shift then 7 to get ‘. How annoying. And the @ is it’s own little button instead of being with 2 like it belongs. Okay, so not it’s own little button. There are some other things with it but we don’t use them with English. Not that I’m aware of.
My face and hair are definitely ready to return. I’ve spent the last week living out of a tiny backpack with minimal products. It has made my pores sad and my hair frizzy. I normally don’t care but I’ve gotten so used to not having zits and to my hair not being frizzy that I want my creature comforts back.
I’m writing down all of my stories in a journal so that I can share the best with you when I’m back in Korea. There are so many! So many. I started taking little notes so that I could remember them and it looks sort of like an outline in my journal.
Title: Japan (by the way, : is different too. Just found that out)
1. Leaving Korea
a. Everything’s dandy until I almost miss my flight
b. The chick beside me on the plane
2. Kyoto
a. Perpetually lost
b. Dude from Chile and his sister
c. CoCo’s Ichibanya
d. The Geisha that glared at me
e. Sim’s Cozy Teahouse
3. Komatsu
a. I missed my stop because I was engrossed in a book and my poor cousin and his wife waited over an hour for me
b. Lost $50 and just found out
c. Beer
d. *He’s a pervert*
e. Food, food and more food
f. Soccer
g. Castle
h. Did I mention food?
4. Misawa
a. 7 hour train ride = so much drunkenness
b. I love that you can drink in public here
c. More food
d. Surfing
e. Food
f. Waterfalls – behind one
g. So. Much. Food.
h. Awesome Netflix show, the name of which escapes me
i. Almost missed my train
5. Tokyo
a. Smoke on tracks
b. Lost in Tokyo
c. Cooper
d. Impromptu jam session
e. Hostels are the best thing in the world
f. The fish market
g. Tokyo Tower
h. 7 story sex shop
i. More to come…

Caveat: I did not wake up to go to the fish market and am about to leave for the Tokyo Tower. Hopefully I make it to the 7 story sex shop. I’ve heard many, MANY stories. And then I’ll have to race to catch a train to the airport so that I don’t miss my flight.


Japan is great so far! I have so many stories to tell you all already but I’ll just do a quick and not so happy one since I don’t have much time.

Yesterday while wandering in Kyoto I lost a 5000 ¥ note. That’s about $50. I was very, very upset when I lost it. In the grand scheme, $50 isn’t a lot. When you are me in this time of my life, $50 is a ginormous sum. A fourth of the spending money I budgeted for this trip (to include food).
Right now I’m at my cousin’s house and I won’t need money for a couple days. I’ve already offered a few times to pay for something and he and his wife will have none of it. So that $50 is what I may have used for the 2 days I am here and will not need and hopefully someone who needs it found it and can eat or pay electric or buy their kid a pair of badly needed shoes because of it.
It still kinda blows and I’m being super careful now. All money will be put back into my wallet immediately instead of stuffed into my pocket to be dealt with later…but hopefully it’s useful to someone who needs it.


I’m going to Japan in the morning. I’m pretty excited. I’ve only ever been to Korea, outside of the United States and that has been this one long (and very short) year. I’ll only be in Japan a week but I’m really excited because there are going to be a ton of adventures. I’m going to meet family that I have met never met before and I’m going to see some friends who I haven’t seen in a long time and I’m going to adventure by myself and sleep in hostels. I will be going to Kyoto and then to Komatsu and then to Misawa and then to Tokyo. Have any of you been any of those places? If you have, what should I do in each place?
I’m so excited to adventure.
I need a change, I need something new with no one I know. Just for a couple days.
What an awesome opportunity.

I would argue that the Military doesn’t teach you to deal with pain.
If a friend is killed.
If a family member is affected.
If you can no longer mentally cope…

They could work more on resiliency.
That’s all I’m trying to say. There are wonderful programs for after your psyche is fucked with, but not before.

And then if you chose to utilize those wonderful programs, your career is over.
The end.