My friends came to visit :)

This past weekend Tops in Blue was at Osan AB, ROK. The team rolled in early Friday afternoon, set up stage Saturday morning, performed Saturday and Sunday nights, tore down the stage Sunday night into Monday morning, had today off and are leaving bright and early.
I don’t know what to tell y’all about this weekend. Let’s start before this weekend…my body does a weird thing when I am stressed out – I get bumps. They’re sort of like zits and they’re all over my legs. No pills or ointment that has been prescribed to me has ever helped, I just need to de-stress and figure out my life. That’s when they go away. It normally takes a month of more.
When the weekend started I’d had these bumps for a week and a half. I don’t know what brought them on this time, just that they are here. After spending a weekend with forty people, most of which I would call my family because we are that close, the bumps are almost gone. Looking at the weekend I had, most people wouldn’t call it a great one. Friday after work I was able to spend some time with friends and then I was up early on Saturday to help them set up stage. I had to leave after about five hours, and that was leaving early! I learned so much about sound and lighting and connecting stage pieces this weekend that I couldn’t repeat it all back to you but I could do it all with my eyes closed. Then I went to the show and watched my friends perform that night on the stage we built with calloused hands and sweat running down our foreheads. Everyone worked together so well.
And these people…they perform so well! A lot of them are people I haven’t seen since I went to the World Wide Talent Search in February 2013 and the improvements they have made since then are astounding. I thought most of them were brilliant at their talent then, but now? Now they’re so polished. The act is so clean. Every note is so pure and every dance move is sharp. And even though they have come so far since the last time I saw them, each and every one of them welcomed me with open arms. They called me family and they didn’t care that I’ve gained a little weight or that my vocals have gone downhill since they last saw me. They took me in.
There’s a guy on the team who didn’t audition with the rest of us, J. I saw him on stage and was like, “who the hell is THAT person who I don’t know?” I met him after the first show and he is so nice. Turns out that TiB didn’t have quite enough male vocalists so they reached out on social media and invited guys to send in a video, from that, J was chosen. He has the voice of an angel and a Harry Potter tattoo. I made a joke about his name and it turns out that his boyfriend is a chef and is making a pastry based off the joke I made. Before Tops in Blue he was overweight and depressed. He hated his life and his job and his co-workers who don’t understand when enough is enough. Now he’s healthy and happy and doing something he loves. Tops in Blue literally saved his life and that makes me so happy.
When we were doing karaoke on Saturday night he came up to me randomly and (drunkenly) said, “you know Molly, you can’t base your worth or your talent off of what Mr. E (the guy who runs TiB) tells you. Whether or not you make it doesn’t say anything about you. I know this because I’ve known you for less than six hours and I already know that you deserve to be on this tour more than anyone else.”
I’m starting to cry just writing this out, that’s how much these words meant to me. I was initially annoyed with him when I met him because he didn’t go through everything that the rest of us went through. He didn’t have to go through the audition process or feel how it is the first year when you don’t make it and everyone you love and auditioned with does (of course, he was one of the 1% that made it his first time…but whatever). But J…J’s something special.
I wish I could tour with all my friends. I wish I could be there with them this year because they are more like family and I don’t have a lot of friends here. I like being alone but I love being with people who I am that close to. It doesn’t take any work to be with them. I don’t have to pretend to be anything I’m not or try to make them happy, I’m just me.
I don’t want them to leave tomorrow.
But they all believe in me so much. When I said goodbye after tearing down with them until the wee hours of the morning they said, very confidently, “see you in October!” October is the next World Wide. Tapes are due in 39 short days and if I’m not selected then I won’t see them. I might never see some of them again ever. And they all want me on tour so badly next year. And I know I can do it. I know I can do it. My voice may not be what it could be, but I can do it.
I can get there.
I want to do it, for them. For myself because I know that I want it more than anything else. I’ve wanted it since I heard about it three and a half years ago. It’s all I’ve wanted and y’all have heard about it since then. And if I finally make it then maybe you’ll stop hearing about it for a while ;p
I want this with everything in me.


6 thoughts on “My friends came to visit :)

  1. Humor_Me_Now says:

    This was a very emotional read. You are really into this and love these people. It is nice to get a compliment. I got a compliment from a band director when I was in junior college and he changed my life.

    Wishing you the very best,

  2. theinfiniterally says:

    Why on earth would we want to stop hearing about it?

    I was a little unclear on where things stood with the TiB and this clarified it for me. I’m really glad you’ll be going after what you want to do. Your new friend J is absolutely right, of course. Your love and commitment are what matter, not someone else’s opinion. I’ve missed seeing your performances, so I’m glad we’ll be seeing them again (hint hint).

This is where the cool people talk about Pirates.

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