Rants on a few different topics:
1. If I ask permission to do something and you (as the person in charge) tell me that it’s an a-okay thing to do, I expect to not get in trouble for it later. Maybe that’s asking too much. I don’t know.
2. My performance report is coming for my signature soon and my supervisor made it sound like I didn’t receive a perfect score even though a) he knows how much I need one, b) he told me that’s what I was getting and c) he does nothing around here and he got a perfect score.
3. This fucking final paper is going to be the death of me. It’s about the criminal justice system and it is ten pages of nothing but research. And it was due yesterday. I got an extension out of my Prof because my laptop DIED OUT OF NOWHERE last week but I want more. More extension. MORE. This paper sucks.
4. Speaking of my laptop, did I mention it FUCKING DIED LAST WEEK? So I’m laptopless. I need to save money before I take it in because I think it will probably be expensive. And I think I lost everything on my hard drive so I just might cry. That is five years’ worth of pictures, music, and writing. All three of my NaNoNovels which have hundreds of hours of work into them.
When it’s better I’m buying something to back everything up onto and doing that daily.
Fuck my life.
Okay, rants are over.
On the upside, I have a great life and a great family who loves me. I have friends and just made a bunch more through “hashing” (which is completely awesome and I will tell you about sometime). My classes are over after I finish this paper and I don’t have to sign up for more until I want to (so until I have a working laptop). GISHWHES is next week and Tops in Blue will get here before the week is out. I’m writing this on my work computer (where I’m writing my paper) and since work is out I have a beer in hand.
Life. Is. Good. All of my problems are strictly first world and the only time they really bother me is when I think about them.
When my Mother was a bit younger than I am now she lived in North Carolina. All of her pictures from then were ruined in a flood when I was a baby, so I’ve never seen any. At one point she moved into a house with a bunch of girls she’d never met, and I got to meet all of them while I was home. “The House on St. Mary’s Street” – they should write a book with all of the stories I’ve heard.
One of them just posted a picture on Facebook and tagged my Mom in it. 1979…she was nineteen years old. If I could go back in time I would totally live on St. Mary’s Street with them. I know where they were all working when they moved in together so I would weasel my way into the gang and make them add a fifth to the house.
My Mother is so adorable and at nineteen she was even more so. She had chipmunk cheeks, long curly hair and loved floral dresses (sounds like my currently nineteen year old sister!). She was in the National Guard and working in a hospital and taking classes…really doing things with her life. Working towards a goal. She took twenty-four credit hours one semester and received a 4.0 while working full time and raising a kid (after she married Dad). That’s my Mother. She can do anything.
It really bugs me that I will never know her in her teens and twenties. I came along when she was thirty. Grandma doesn’t remember much anymore so stories are hard to come by and Mom is guarded with a lot of the stories she tells. The older I get the more I’m allowed to hear but I want to be one of the group as they were then! I want to go to high school with Mom and help her through my Grandpa leaving and move to Raleigh with her when we graduate. It’s not fair that I don’t get to know her like that. It’s not right that I never will. When she’s old and senile I’ll change her diapers but I won’t know who she crushed on at nineteen or what she wanted to be when she grew up at twelve. I want to hear her first word and poke her little baby belly button and hear her squeal. Beat up her brothers when they held her down and tickled her and save her little sister from falling and dying.
I want to know her.
Did I tell you all that my Mother asked me to go raw with her? She gave me a book to read and everything! And it was a good book. Very informational and exciting – it made me want to join her!
It’s been three days now. Three days of only raw foods. More fruits and veggies and nuts than you can count. I made my own peanut butter (and it turned out surprisingly yummy), switched from coffee to green tea to start weaning myself off of caffeine (which is fine. I love coffee for the taste and smell and everything about it but I can live without) and ordered a dehydrator.
Do you know how many raw recipes call for a freaking dehydrator? The lowest the oven here goes is 225. Raw food is under 120. I want to make raw burgers and pizza and bread and crepes…
I don’t have an addictive personality but I am addicted to cooked food. It’s ingrained in me. I love it. It’s part of my life.
So I ordered pizza online (I told all of my friends what I’m doing, so I don’t dare go out and have pizza. Someone might see me) and am praying for the pizza man to hurry his butt up because I. Want. It.
I’m also praying that my Mother won’t ask what I had for dinner tonight when I call her in a couple hours.
When my dehydrator gets here I swear I’ll stick to this shit. It just takes planning.
During K-12 most of us were given a “Summer Vacation”. Two to three months of blissful sun and swimming and no real responsibility.
I say that’s bullshit. If schools want to prepare us for the “real world” then Summer Vacation has got to go. College summers can stay since most college students use it for working, summer classes and/or internships anyway, but K-12? No way. Instead of Summer Vacation make 4-5 weeklong breaks throughout the school year. There are already several, so this shouldn’t be hard to fit in. Use the rest of the time for active learning. This way when students graduate, they are not let down so hard experiencing the adulthood for that first Summer. They may be lucky enough to find a job that lets them take many vacation days starting right off, but that is just like their several weeks during the school year. This will make for more productive adults. Instead of longing for the the days of our youth and summer fun, adults will feel as though summers are for working, just like every other season.
I’m using the app. Can I add a photo? I want to add a photo. I don’t know how to add a photo on the app. Hmm.
Anyway, I don’t want to go back to Korea. But everyone in the airport was super nice.
My Mom and I went to NC to visit my Grandma, so that’s where I flew out from. The lady who gave me my boarding pass asked if Mom wanted to go thru TSA with me. I didn’t know that was a thing. It was great. We drank a hard cider and hugged a lot before I had to leave.
And tears are starting to fall so I’mma stop blogging because I can’t cry until I’m safe in my room on base. I’ve wanted to for the last three weeks but I will be able to then.
Wine is free on this flight so I am going to take full advantage of that. Hell yeah.
(Okay so I figured out how to add one photo)
(Now I figured out how to add more but I already forgot)
What with Welcome to Night Vale recently celebrating its 2-year anniversary and fiftieth episode, it occurred to me that a lot of people are still unfamiliar with what it is and what it’s about. So, in the interest of getting more people acquainted with one of the best things the internet has ever introduced me to, I’ve put together a list of reasons why more people should get involved with this wonderfully bizarre narrative.
The Plot. The basic premise of Welcome to Night Vale is it’s a community radio show, giving news updates to the small desert town of Night Vale, in which the radio station interns have a habit of dying so often they’ve kind of become the equivalent of the red shirts in Star Trek, and nightmarish things like hooded figures that steal babies, floating cats, visits from angels and dragons running for mayor are all accepted as everyday…
Sometimes I think we spend so much time worrying about how we look that we forget to notice how other people see us.
Maybe it doesn’t matter how other people see us.
I don’t know.
Happy Independence Day you Americans! I think we’re going to see fireworks later and I know someone is having a cookout, so we’re doing the basics. Earlier my Mom, a friend and I ran the “Tuff E’Nuff” race. It’s a 5K with obstacles. Mom beat me last year, this year I got her by about a minute. WOOHOO!
Before (what am I looking at?)
After (what is Kevin looking at?) (Also my Mother is adorable)
Before I get into this post, did y’alls WP new post thingies change? Cuz right now this looks completely different than it did and it’s weird. I DON’T LIKE IT AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAD TO CHANGE AND oh wait I fixed it now it looks mostly normal. The background colour is still different but at least all the coding is done for me again.
Okay cool. Onto the blog post.
I’m trying to do something special with each of my siblings while I’m home. Little brother wanted to get pizza and see a movie so we did that yesterday. Youngest sister is away so I unfortunately can’t spend much time with her. Middle sister is normally at work or chillin with her friends (she wakes up at 10am, leaves for work at 10:30am, gets off work between 4:30 and 6:00pm and gets home around 10pm) so I didn’t think I’d get a chance with her. Boo! But yesterday she asked me if I would go to her “Campus Ambassadors” meeting. She doesn’t go to school so I’m not sure how she got involved with this group (it’s a Christian organization that spreads The Word on campus) but she absolutely loves it and most of her friends are part of it. I wasn’t sure if I’d make it but when I told her this morning that I’d see her there her face absolutely lit up. I’m glad I went.
It was a decent time too. Good preaching, good food, nice people. And Anna was happy that I was there which is what counts most because I love her so much.
When we got home she started talking about all of the other groups that she’s a part of that I should go to sometime when I’m home but there are so. many. people. In every single one of these groups. I like people as mu…okay, not as much as the next person. I don’t like people much. I don’t like crowds. I like to be able to see everyone who I am interacting with and to remember all of their names. I can’t do that with a group of 25+. I just can’t. And there is so much noise and so many conversations and I want to go with her to all of these at some point but it is going to be very slow going because there are just so many people at all of them.
The crowd tonight was at least 30, which may not sound like a big group. But it’s astronomical to me. I need quiet. LIttle spaces. Few people. Quiet.
Normally my parents and I just don’t talk about things that we know we don’t agree on (gay rights, abortion, etc), or if we do we keep it strictly to Facebook and pretend nothing happened when we’re on the phone next. My Mom has a system where she likes to text me to tell me when I’ve said something she doesn’t like – keeps the arguments quiet. No raised voices and we all love each other very much thank you.
It’s harder to do all that when I’m home. The whole thing with Hobby Lobby and the Supreme Court yesterday really rubbed me the wrong way and I put something about it on FB. I should have known better while I’m home…but what can I do now? Certainly not take back my truthful opinion. That would be dishonest and I don’t like that, no matter how much dissension it causes.
To make a long story short, Dad tried to tell me I was jumping on a bandwagon without being knowledgable on the subject (after I read many articles and skimmed through the Supreme Court opinions) which ended with him admitting that he had only seen one thing about it on television last night (his news shows are notoriously one sided) which made my Mother angry because I “made your Father look bad on public social media” which made me angry because he tried to do the same thing first by saying I was jumping on a bandwagon with having no knowledge on the subject…
So now my Mom’s mad at me to my face which never happens, my Dad’ll be over it by the time he gets home and I’m going to run away by taking my little brother to a movie and lunch.