This post is all over the place

Right now I just want to talk to someone. Talk to a human being in person. I don’t even care much who it is, just that they are physically here. At the same time, I’ve been conditioned to see tears as a weakness (they’re a normal human function, but no one has died or is sick. It’s just been a crappy day) and to feel that my problems have no place in someone else’s world. They’re my problems, so I should take care of them. Change what I can, accept what I can’t, and move on from there.

Maybe it’s because I know how I feel when people complain excessively to me about their lives. I want to snap, “stop being a whiny brat and get over your shit. You’ve told me about how horrible your boyfriend is for the last three weeks. You can break up with him or shut up”. It’s fine if you need to talk to someone, but if all you’re doing is complaining about something that you can fix then why are you making someone listen to you go on and on about it?

And that’s how this is. Right now. My problem. I can fix this, but I don’t want to. Doing so would probably be painful, and it would be a lot of work. It could ruin a friendship or two, and I’m not ready for that. The fix is so very simple, but all I want to do is talk to another human being about it first. Get some perspective on this thing. Hear the opinion of someone who isn’t involved in all of the shit.

But the tiny nagging voice won’t go away…“no one wants to hear about it”. 

I know.

I know.


9 thoughts on “This post is all over the place

  1. theinfiniterally says:

    There’s a non-fine line between someone who is a habitual whiner and someone who is genuinely troubled over something. The habitual whiner is manipulating people to get whatever feedback they need. Big line. Huge. Wide as a football field. Maybe.

    We’re facebook friends, so I can say with certainty there is probably someone out there who cares enough to actually be eager to listen. Probably.

    Oh wait, are you still in Korea? Okay. I can see the problem.

    None of this helps, I know, but at least I wrote you a note because you’re awesome. I could’ve been more succinct, like ‘I wrote you this note because you’re awesome,’ but I didn’t. It is what it is.

  2. i think you could get away with talking to someone about it. whatever it is. there are probably a lot of people who do want to hear about it. you are not a habitual whiner, so it’s not whining. (i know shit about whining)

    • But it feels like whining

      • i figure a lot of things out by speaking them. sometimes it’s not even necessary for the other person to listen (which is convenient since sometimes the other person isn’t). if you’d like i could give you my phone number. you can talk to me while i’m sleeping or while 20 other people are talking to me. and actually, this would be a serious offer, minus that last part.

        • Thank you, but no thanks. I really do appreciate the offer. I figure a lot of things out by writing them, or speaking to myself about them (yes, out loud. Call me crazy). And this right now isn’t about figuring something out really, it’s more just wanting to say it out loud to someone else. Make it concrete. Gauge their reaction. Well, now it is. Maybe when I wrote the blog post I wanted someone else’s opinion, but I really don’t remember that far back (when was it? Yesterday? What did I eat for breakfast TODAY?!). I’ve figured out a plan of action, now I just need to make sure I follow through and that no decisions are made that could hinder that (just kidding, I didn’t eat breakfast today).

  3. Humor_Me_Now says:

    I am 80. I do not discuss my many cumulative health issues. People will be polite, but they have their own problems. I became a listener and learned a lot. Most hurting people just want someone to listen.

This is where the cool people talk about Pirates.

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