The best date is with yourself. My Mother taught me that during my formative years, and it will always ring true. She’d drop my siblings and I off at a practice or class or youth group or whatever we were doing at the time, and she’d take herself out for a glass of wine and an hour to herself in a corner booth.
She always gets the corner booth. It doesn’t matter if she’s alone or has friends. I don’t know how she does it away from home, but in our town everyone knows her. She’ll walk into Applebees (or whichever restaurant she likes) and the hostess will intentionally ensure that there is a corner booth cleared for her. I’ve seen people be moved so that Mom can have a corner booth. It’s not that she demands it or anything. She’s really a sweet lady, and hates to see people go out of their way for her. I think she must have made her preference known at some point (in her quiet way), and it not only stuck, but spread. Because everyone loves (and respects) my Mother.
Everyone but her children.
Don’t get me wrong…I love her. 16 loves her, and 13 is up in the air (because. Well. He’s 13). 19 moved out of the house recently because she was snarky and Mom asked her to leave the table. And maybe get a job soon. 24 doesn’t talk to anyone. 38 finally Skyped the parents the other night (after about 2 years of silence), and everyone is happy about that.
I’m in contact with everyone, but that’s because I demand it. If someone un-friends me on Facebook or blocks my number I find their friends and I make shit happen. Their friends sympathize – everyone’s got family after all.
But what do I do with 19 and 24? No one has slighted them. It’s in their minds. People who love them have asked them to take responsibility (they ARE adults after all), and it makes them angry. How do we make that anger go away?
I don’t know.
I don’t know.
But back to dating yourself.
Today I went out and found a margarita and some bulgogi. I brought Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy with me, and I sat in my booth and read for an hour and a half. The waitress was wonderful. I was carded for the first time since coming into S Korea, and I congratulated her on that fact.
These are the times when shit gets done internally. When I date myself. When I dress up and buy myself a drink and read and don’t speak to anyone else except to order and say “thank you”. This is when I calm the chaos and ride out any storms.
Thank you Mom.