That was my thought this morning, when I awoke to a 0430 recall.
Okay, that’s a lie. My first thought was, “what the actual fuck I’ve been asleep for like three hours WE WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE RECALLED UNTIL TONIGHT I HATE THIS FREAKING SHIT”.
But then I went into work, put on my uniform, and saw the pictures of my family that are on my desk. That is when I thought, “I do this for you”.
So that 19 can afford a cell phone and not eat ramen for every single meal.
So that 16 and 13 can go to ski club and have team shirts. So that they can experience what I got to when finances were better.
So that Mom doesn’t have to worry as much about her car payment.
So that Dad can concentrate on other things.
It’s not much, but it’s something. They’d be fine without me, but I remember, when I’m angry with work, that they’re finer with me. I could help them out if I was still subbing at elementary schools and working nights at the pizzeria, but it wouldn’t be quite the same. It wouldn’t feel the same.
The way I get through this is remembering that they need me and the small amount of support I can provide (even though they don’t really).
On a side note, my Supervisor didn’t wake up for the recall so I got to go beat his door down. That was fun. I also pounded on two of the other guy’s doors (one was asleep and one was in the shower), and one told me that I “yell like a Mom”. Guess that means people listen when I yell yo. Good to know.
Also, I’m trying to sleep now so that I can go back in for my shift at 1700, but I’m sick to my stomach. Like. Literally. It’s horrible. I’ve puked twice.
So instead of sleeping I’ve started making bread (it’s rising in the pans now. Might be ready for the oven before I leave! If not then I’ll leave a note for my day shift roomie and maybe she’ll be nice enough to stick them in for me) and put together the pasta salad (it’s freaking amazing. Penne, chicken, tomato, feta, with italian dressing. I’m so happy) that will be my “lunch” (midnightish) because MRE’s are the bane of my existence. I’m so glad I went grocery shopping on Friday. A lot of people planned on going today (we all hate MRE’s with a passion and they are the only available food during this next week). Stinks for them. Glad I have some extra so I can share.