The thing is that I’m done. The first month or so I was here was one thing. Drinking and stupidity and laughing at jokes that aren’t funny.
But I’m done with it. I don’t want to hear the jokes anymore. I don’t want to go out drinking all the time with them. And if those things make me unsociable then fine. No one listens when I speak anymore because I no longer go out as much. It’s like my voice is no longer valid because I don’t drink soju until 0300 and come to work at 0700.
You’d think I’d be respected more, not less. Saving face instead of barfing in front of your co-workers should be good for your reputation.
But not here.
I have no transition.
It bugs me how easily they give out awards and pats on the back sometimes. If I do something worthy, that’s chill. There are many things I’ve done in the last three years that I would happily accept recognition for. The things that they choose tend to be completely insignificant and don’t help anyone.
We have this thing called an “Airman Spotlight”. As far as I can tell, they pick an Airman out of a hat and have them answer a questionnaire. They take a picture and put it online. Apparently I get an award for this. I answered a questionnaire because my flight leadership told me to. There was nothing significant that happened here, and it is not something that I’m proud of.
If you want to award me, do it for the countless nights I’ve spent at work getting almost no sleep, so that my Airmen could deploy.
If you want to award me, there was a 72 hour period after Sandy hit where I did not sleep because we were tasked to send people to NY. And then they didn’t have food or housing because no one expects a Hurricane to flood the Big Apple. Once that was done I gorged myself on grilled cheese sandwiches and homemade lattes. I remember it vividly.
If you want to award someone, give it to the people who have helped me along the way. TSgt H, or TSgt K or MSgt J. People who taught me work ethic and determination. People who stood up for me when things were clearly unfair. The people who I would not have survived Andrews without.
In my two months at Osan, I have done nothing award worthy, and that is okay. I’m finding my niche. Getting comfortable. For me to do well, that must happen first. Also, I’m typing this post at work in 6 point font so that my Supervisor (who sits behind me) can’t read it. Sounds like I’m getting pretty comfy, eh?
Another transition should be here.
Today I was given an initial performance feedback. It’s been two months, so I guess it’s about time. I think my Supervisor likes me. He said things like, “you’re extremely opinionated, so you would be really good for (professional organization) if you decided to join it”, and “you work in an extremely male dominated career, and I really like how you stand up for yourself and try to keep our speech in line” (most likely referring to the other day when someone used “women” as a synonym for “weak” and I chewed him out). He also complimented my work ethic (I’m on twitter for at least half the day but I guess he just sees things getting done, so that’s chill) (also, 6 point font WORKS) and the fact that I am willing to speak up when I think there’s a better way to do something. He asked me about my old Supervisors and was appalled at the stories I told him. I think we’ll get along fine. I hope we will.
We will as long as he doesn’t get on twitter
Goddamn it. Go here: http://www.gizoogle.net/ and paste the url from this post into it. and then read it. SO MUCH BETTER.