I had a panic attack last night.

It has been over a year since the last one. I thought I was past them.

Apparently not.

It was over the stupidest, littlest thing. My flight money came in finally and I wanted to pay off my card. It’s not due for a month, but I wanted it over with and I couldn’t find my card. My room was a mess when I came back to myself. I tore it apart looking. 

My heart was beating so fast and the hyperventilating made me feel as though I couldn’t breathe (even though I know in my brain that that’s not the case). I thought I was going to die. That’s how I felt after the first few too. When I got used to them before, I figured out little tricks. Ways to trick myself into calming down – especially in public. Panic attacks used to be my best friend. The only thing I could rely on. One of the reasons I’m so damn anti-social.

I sobbed for like half an hour. I’m twenty-two years old. It is time to put this crap behind me. There is absolutely no need for this shit.

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9 thoughts on “

  1. We all discover things that we know there is “no need”, for yet these things persist. don’t judge yourself, not helpful. just remember the tricks that worked. hugs.

  2. southernhon says:

    I have anxiety and I suffered with panic attacks for years. I found a very good online community, No More Panic.

This is where the cool people talk about Pirates.

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