Tumblr has been making fun of that phrase for about a week now, so I figured I had to use it. Can’t miss a golden opportunity.
New Year’s Eve really snuck up on me. It’s 1600 on 31 Dec 2013, and I thought it was the 30th until about twenty minutes ago.
Some actual doable stuff for 2014:
1. End my (borderline dependent) relationship with salt
2. Run a marathon
3. Make E-5 in the Spring when I test for the first time
4. Read more non-fiction
5. Call my Grandmother a minimum of once a week
6. Get out of debt – minus the car which will be taken care of in 2015
7. Finish my CCAF (Community College of the Air Force) degree (in Emergency Management)
8. Spend less time dreaming and more time doing
9. Utilize Skype more often
10. Less chocolate, more chicken (wings count, right?. cuz they’re chicken. covered in delicious honey bbq sauce). Also less wine because guys this is no good.
11. Love myself as much as I pretend to
12. Make new friends but keep the goddamn old ones okay? Don’t forget about them!
13. Take a self defense class (specifically MMA on Thursday nights at 7pm at the gym) and start yoga and maybe pick up Zumba again cuz I did really love that
14. Send in the most kick ass Tops in Blue audition ever. EVER.
Went to see Anchorman 2 and fell asleep by 9:30. Happy New Year guysies.
Oh yes also before I went to sleep I went to buy cheap champagne cuz the plan was to stay up until midnight, and I DROPPED IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING STORE. And my boss saw.
At least it was cheap.
After I had my hair fixed, I went to work to feed my fish. His name is Caddie (my Supervisor’s 7 year old son named the fish), and he sits on my desk. A bunch of the guys were chatting in one section, so I went to join in – because that’s what you do when your office is mostly guys. If you don’t invite yourself then you will never be invited for the most part – and one of the guys, Dom, goes, “you know Clune. I have seen you looking super hot, and you could do that all the time if you put some effort in” (I was wearing a guys long sleeved shirt that’s a bit big on me, but is warm and comfy, and jeans that aren’t fitted, but again, they are comfy and they fit me. And no makeup cuz why the fuck would I put makeup on today?).
I said, “excuse you, I look hot all the time. And since it matters what I think of myself way more than it matters what other people think of me, I’m fine with not making an effort.”
“Well don’t you ever want to find a man?”
“You know that I could go knock on a door and get laid right now, right?’
“But a relationship.”
“You mean with a stuck up prick who only thinks I’m good enough when I wear makeup and dress nicely?”
“Whatever Clune, your loss.”
No, you asshole. Your motherfucking loss. If you can’t see beyond the way someone dresses, then you may find someone someday, but chances are that she will be just as shallow as you are.
And as much as I acted confident and awesome in that moment, it really does sting when people say things like that. I looked in the mirror this morning and didn’t think badly of myself, and for most women that is an achievement of the highest order. Then some misogynistic asshole says some crap, and you can’t help but let it affect you. I hate guys.
I hate them.
Last night after…quite a few drinks, I took a shower. After said shower, I decided to cut my hair. Cuz it was long. And I didn’t want to wait. So I chopped it. Cut straight across the back, and cut the front slowly and carefully. And I like the front! I really do. It looks like this:
I’m happy with it.
But the back? Totally a different story. Guys I fucked up.
Everything’s crazy cuz I just woke up, but LOOK HOW BAD THAT IS. I think it’ll be okay though. I’ll just go in and ask them to buzz it all up so it’s even. And hopefully it’ll be fine. Just super duper short which is how I like it, so whatever? But ugh. That’s like. Wups. Ugh.
So I won’t be doing the back of my head by myself. Ever ever ever again. Unless I can see what’s going on. I really though it would be okay.
It’s fixed now. We’re all good. Was in and out of the salon in 10 minutes. I am happy.
“We couldn’t figure out how to be married without a war to fight”
The show Arrow keeps bringing home the truth. One of the guys said it in the episode I’m watching now, 2×06, and I see it happen every day in the lives of my friends.
You meet someone in a deployed environment and you think, “jeez. we are deployed. We’re in a war zone. If there is a horrid part of you then it will come out here and I will see it and I will process it and then we can live in peace and happiness forever. Together.” but that’s not how it goes. You get out of the war and you no longer have a place to direct your fury. There’s no enemy that deserves your rage. So you take it out on your husband or wife, and there may or may not be a child in between the two of you. Either way, it ends. You can’t handle each other without the buffer of war.
I’ve been in the military for just over three years. In that time, 17 of the girls I went to BMT with have been married. 10 of them have also divorced in that time.
What a time to be alive.
I woke up around 0030 last night, and what to my flickering eye should appear but a goddamn googly eye. On my sink.
Now, I like crafts as much as the next person. Sock puppets are a favourite. I have googly eyes in my craft box – an entire bag of them! All different sizes!
I haven’t been in my craft box since I unpacked it with everything else two weeks ago. I have not opened it. Not once.
Where did the googly eye come from?!?!
There’s a mass murderer living in my bedroom. The googly eye is a sign/warning/himorherorit laughing at me. I called my Dad cuz I was scared and he laughed at me too. He told me to grab some tissue, pick up the googly eye, and flush it. Like a bug I guess. But that’s wasteful so I think I’ll just use it next time I make a poof pet or a sock puppet or something equally charming and grownup.
You know what makes scary things go away?
It’s the day after Christmas. Falalalala.
I went to work at 7 to teach the Army some basic CBRN shit, but they decided that they didn’t want to come in today. There was an e-mail asking if we could possibly move training to tomorrow (they’re the ones who wanted today in the first place). Around 0830 I came back home to sleep and things since I was the only one who actually showed up to work (to train the freaking Army), and instead of sleeping I’ve watched the Doctor Who Christmas Special 5+ times, learned “Let it Go” on guitar, and watched four episodes of “Arrow”.
Help. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. If there are spelling errors in this, I apologize. My head is hanging off my bed and I am typing by feel only. I may edit. We’ll see. 3/4 of a bottle of whiskey down, a bottle of vodka and two of wine to go. It’s only 1617. Ooh I think there’s some beer in the fridge too. Maybe. In the vegetable drawer. This is my life. Have I shown you all my tree yet? This is my tree. Maybe. Can I add a photo in here? DAKLSFJAKLS;DJF I DON’T KNOW HOW. Freaking WordPress.
Whatever. ooh I did it.